I knew that the latest picture from David R. Ellis entitled “Shark Night 3D” wasn’t going to be a masterpiece. However, my expectations of this film was going to be along the same lines and tone as films such as “Piranha 3D”, and Ellis’ other film “Snakes on a Plane”. If you have seen those films then you would realize that those films were fun “creature features” that were purposely made bad on purpose. They were making fun of themselves because those films (particularly “Piranha 3D”) had excessive amounts of gore and nudity, wise humor, fun characters, and just a consistent tongue-in-cheek tone. Those films knew what they wanted to be. That’s what I thought “Shark Night 3D” was going to accomplish, however that’s not the case since everything that made “Piranha 3D” and “Snakes on a Plane” fun, “Shark Night 3D” doesn’t have. In fact, it is one of the worst films of the year.

The film stars a group of college students who decide to celebrate for the weekend on a remote Island in the middle of a lake in Louisiana. The students are Sara (Sara Paxton), Nick (Dustin Milligan), Beth (Katharine McPhee), Malik (Sinqua Walls), Maya (Alyssa Diaz), Blake (Chris Zylka), and Gordon (Joel David Moore). Once the group gets there they realize that they are not alone, because there are sharks in the water and are going to take the group one by one. Why can’t they just call for help? Conveinently, their cell phones don’t get service. Of course they don’t…..why would they?

“The Shark in the Water Movie” has been done to death. However, I figured “Shark Night 3D” was going to at least make fun of that genre and put some self-satire into in. However the film takes itself way to seriously to be fun. “Piranha 3D” did it right. That film had a tongue-in-cheek tone and it was constantly making fun of itself through comedic overtones. Shark Night 3D” however fails to capture that same tone. Why? Well for one thing the film is rated PG-13 and not R. “Piranha 3D” was rated R because it had excessive amounts of gore and nudity. It didn’t need that much gore, but that’s what made it so much fun. But “Shark Night 3D” is pretty tame for shark movie. So where is the fun in watching blood come to the surface of the water?

Another problem is with the characters themselves. They follow the general stereotypes that most wannabe horror films have. You got your nerd, your jock, your sweet innocent girl, the girl who is flirty with many guys, and some other people that aren’t worth caring about. It is because of those stereotypes that make them bland. So when they die, do we care?  I know I sure didn’t. The characters in “Piranha 3D” and “Snakes on a Plane” were memorable because of their distinguished and, at times, humorous personalities. These characters are just dull. So instead of becoming a fun creature feature B-movie, it is just a generic PG-13 dead teenager movie.

The sharks in this movie are some of the fastest sharks in the world. They are supposed to be like real sharks. But when someone gets into the water they are there in an instant. For example, there is scene were the people are trying to get away from a shark on boat but it keeps a very good pace even though the boat at full speed. I guess the shark will go fast as they want if the plot requires it. They reminded me more of the sharks from “Deep Blue Sea”, but the sharks in that film were suppose to be bigger, faster, and stronger due to the scientists making them that way. Not to mention the characters were more memorable in that film as well.

Of course I did see this film in 3D, and of course once again it wasn’t really that good. It was just a gimmick to show sharks flying into the air which is not really that thrilling or suspenseful.

“Shark Night 3D” could have been a fun. That’s what I was hoping for but instead what I got was dull, uninteresting, wannabe B-Movie. “Piranha 3D” and “Snakes on a Plane” were much better at bring self-satire with unnecessary amounts of gore and good humor about its premise and characters. Go see those films, along with “Deep Blue Sea”, if you want good smart and fun creature features. “Shark Night 3D” wants to be that but instead it’s a run-of-the-mill dead teenager movie with sharks in 3D.

*| PG-13| 91 Minutes